First I remember many of the times when people have expressed in any way criticism of me.
Then I totally believe that the criticism is valid, and that they meant the worst of any number of ways their comment could be taken.
Then I feel low and messed up for all those ways I can be criticised.
Then I can only see my flaws, and nothing good about my self.
Then I get depressed.
I then repeat the previous thoughts while I am alone curled up in fetal position on my bed over and over.
As they repeat I get more suspicious of other people. I believe less and less that anyone likes me at all, or that I could be liked at all by them, and more and more that everyone around me is malicious towards me.
I start to want to lash out in anger at these people, or to cut off all contact with these people, or give them a taste of their own medicine.
Thankfully I have children who interrupt such pity parties.
Mama Muffin
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