Aluminum makes me have some strange emotional reactions....

First I remember many of the times when people have expressed in any way criticism of me.

Then I totally believe that the criticism is valid, and that they meant the worst of any number of ways their comment could be taken.

Then I feel low and messed up for all those ways I can be criticised.

Then I can only see my flaws, and nothing good about my self.

Then I get depressed.

I then repeat the previous thoughts while I am alone curled up in fetal position on my bed over and over.

As they repeat I get more suspicious of other people. I believe less and less that anyone likes me at all, or that I could be liked at all by them, and more and more that everyone around me is malicious towards me.

I start to want to lash out in anger at these people, or to cut off all contact with these people, or give them a taste of their own medicine.

Thankfully I have children who interrupt such pity parties.

Mama Muffin

My kids need attention...

I have been shut down or sleeping for most of the day. It is now past bedtime and my kids need attention. I should go down and sit by them and let them talk and tell me about their day. But when they talk I have a hard time listening to it. Normally that is because I am trying to think or do something else, and it interrupts me. Maybe if I go down with the plan to do nothing else bu listen I will find I have an easier time?

I hope they have had enough to eat, I might need to find them something else to eat before bed. Also I need to remember their scripture reading.

The Muffin Mama