Aluminum Free Fast Food

Mcdonalds as of 10-31-09

Unknown if it contains Aluminum or not
Cookies
Pies

Contains Aluminum
Pickles -
Chicken nuggets -
Biscuit Sandwiches

Aluminum free/ ok to eat
Sandwiches and Hamburgers (as long as they don't have any pickles)
Cheese
French fries and the salt on them
Parfaits
Apple Dippers and Carmel
Ice cream and cones
Salads and Dressings

Update on my church calling...

At first, I had a hard time going to relief society after so many years of being in the primary. I love the benefits our family experiences from the church organizations, and I know they are all ran by volunteers, someone must make each organization work if we are to have it.

My ward is so small that everyone has at least one calling, some people two or three. This small ward helps everyone feel important and counted. This we love.

The bishop and everyone who became aware of me turning down my calling and why, were more then very understanding, they were very caring. But I still was afraid to sit in Relief Society as one of the few people who don't have a calling, I was afraid it would feel to me and others like I was not pulling my weight. Thankfully, and predictably I got no such feeling.

When a calling changes in my small ward the bishop plays musical callings, as a ward we joke about it. It becomes a complicated dance of moving everyone around to a new seat without one calling left unfilled. I believe this last round of musical callings was really complicated for the bishop. Two of the most reliable mutual leaders asked to be relieved, as well as some of the primary presidency, and me as a teacher, and his wife as a member of the relief society presidency. I was not the only one that asked to have no calling for a while, there were at least three of us that did. For such a small ward, three key members all asking for a relief from callings for a time, is a significant thing. We have a hard time filling callings as it is. I can only imagine that it was difficult for the bishop to work out.

On Sunday all the organizations were still running smoothly with their newest changes, and every thing looks like it worked out. And I believe I will be comfortable attending relief society, and having no calling for a while.

Aluminum makes me have some strange emotional reactions....

First I remember many of the times when people have expressed in any way criticism of me.

Then I totally believe that the criticism is valid, and that they meant the worst of any number of ways their comment could be taken.

Then I feel low and messed up for all those ways I can be criticised.

Then I can only see my flaws, and nothing good about my self.

Then I get depressed.

I then repeat the previous thoughts while I am alone curled up in fetal position on my bed over and over.

As they repeat I get more suspicious of other people. I believe less and less that anyone likes me at all, or that I could be liked at all by them, and more and more that everyone around me is malicious towards me.

I start to want to lash out in anger at these people, or to cut off all contact with these people, or give them a taste of their own medicine.

Thankfully I have children who interrupt such pity parties.

Mama Muffin

Falling Asleep at the keyboard

I am trying to read through and post emails that fit to my blog. But I keep falling asleep. I just now almost banged my head on the keyboard because of the sleepy head nod. I guess I need a nap.

The following post is written very quickly to get you caught up, before I need to go make dinner, sorry for how rough it is.

I planned to write on Saturday, but then my DH had the day off unexpected. Then I planned on writing on Sunday... And I can not remember why I did not.. Then I told myself for sure I wanted to write on Monday, but again my DH had the day off... And now again Today I told myself for sure to write.. but then I got distracted with updating my kids homeschool blog. By the time I realised that I had used my writing time my kids were hungry and I had to attend to them.... And then my DH got the day off again...... He had been getting allot of time off to give me support, which has been wonderful...

Actually... I told myself that I was dwelling too much on me. You have told me little tid bits about yourself here and there, and I have felt uncomfortable getting too personal in your life if you did not want to.. Then I realised before the weekend that I was being too self absorbed and that I should go ahead and respond to the things you wrote about your life that interested me. But that type of writing would take more thought and focus. So I always tried to plan for uninterrupted time to give you a more thoughtful response... which, alas is not something that comes my way often. So it kept getting pushed off. I did not realise until now how long it had been, I was thinking it had only been a few days. I did update the blog.. oh, on Saturday I was going to write to you, but the blog took longer then I expected.

I am glad to report that i have gotten a TON done. I have cleaned out my kitchen, and mostly cleaned out my office. And the dumpster did come finally, that is another reason I was occupied, and cleaned off my garage.

Through advice from a friend I have retaken up daily scripture reading with my kids, though I had recently rebelled against it.

This might be another reason I did not post today.. Or Monday.. I took a urine test, and it tested almost no aluminum. So either I am a hypoconrdiac, or the test is a 24 hour test and only shows me I am doing good to keep it out of my diet, or some other explanation...

got to run.

Checking in...

The truth is I have not devoted as much attention to my children and them removing aluminum from their diet. I asked their girl scout leader about not having aluminum in their snacks, and she gave no solution or ideas... I noticed one day after girl scouts they were more cranky, that could be because of aluminum. I am not sure.

It seems I am limited in many ways more then just aluminum. Lol, I just feel human at this point. I think AAT will cure my brain fog depressed days. But I am not sure it can cure me of my humanity. My husband found this LDS scripture the other day in his reading, D&C 60:13 “Thou Shalt Not Idle Away Thy Time nor Bury Thy Talents”. There it is, listed in thou shalt terms, just like a commandment.

We have a family constitution that we read and memorise, that summaries many of the things we value and want to improve on. My kids have memorised "D&C 75:3 Behold, I say unto you that it is my will that you should go forth and not tarry, neither be idle but labor with your might--" .... sigh I have such a weakness of idling....

My blogging is in many ways my idling...

As I see it I have three major weaknesses...

1. Aluminum
2. Lack of faith and large amounts of doubt that my efforts will result in good
3. a habit of being idle, and idling away my time.

So AAT can help me improve #1, which might help me have more of #2, but #3...... I am not sure I want to give up hours of watching Rhett and Link on YouTube, or browsing on Amazon, or blogging, or emailing, or IMing, or Face Book, or many of the other idle things I do....

The Lds church really speaks out against addictions and substance abuse. I am addicted to food, and the Internet. I cant judge another's addiction, I done seem to even want to give up my own, I just am lucky to have a less destructive one.. or am I?

I can imagine all the happiness that would come to me if I were "anxiously engaged in a good cause". But that does not seem to stop the habit of living on and for the computer, and food....

I should spend more time with my kids, cleaning, packing, and being a good neighbor. But here I sit at the computer.

I think I am having a mild aluminum reaction today. My head feels foggy, and I don't really think much of myself....

Ok so there was run of thoughts randomness from me.

I am really very self absorbed.. But I really don't have time to care about others... Or it feels that way.

I will post when I am in a good mood and feel I can become the person I want to become, that will be an up day to balance out a mild down day.


Muffin Mama

An Update

That totally fits my life. Since you said that I have looked back over my life and seen how socially awkward I was, and I am glad I have learned as many social lessons as I have so far, thankfully I can now participate in a neighborhood more effectively. Growing up with aluminum has seemed to effected my social skills.

I can PLAN on a good day... almost. It is amazing. I long ago gave up planning on anything, and how I would do it. I avoid aluminum at all costs in food now. I never want another day like after that danish. I went to my SIL's home again on Sunday, I ate no cake, and no cookies and cream ice cream... but I did eat the chocolate ice cream.

My husband took 4-5 days off of his second job over these past two weeks. It has been amazing! You are right, I am so fortunate to have him. When he is home or will be home in the evening I don't flow into a thoughtful mood, so I never sit down to write. But when I am alone for a good part of the day, I do.

We cleaned out part of the pantry... On Saturday we cleaned the Master Room, even under the bed. Now I am going to go sort out bins in the organisers and closet.... TTFN (as Tigger would say to Winnie the Pooh, Tah Tah For Now)

A solution after all this time...

After that danish I ate at my SIL's I see what I am up against with aluminum. I do not like it. I can not estimate for you how many dark days of my life have been spent just like that. I can not recapture how much of a failure I felt I was, and how much I felt I was choosing to be lazy. It is such a relief to know what causes that. The Lord works in mysterious ways. I struggled greatly with aluminum up and until the moment I no longer had the strength to struggle against it, then I found JoAnne Struve's web page....

No that does not do justice to the Lord. He is not the one that started all of this. He is against aluminum poisoning I am sure. But alas, society has to learn from our mistakes, so that means we need to see the consequences of the past. I just finally, after years of research and reading, asked the right question and got the right answer.... That is not quite right either....

I remember the day I found out about aluminum. It was a frustrating day. I could not get myself to do any work, I was shut down, agitated, and my brain was foggy. I remembered how a few days earlier I had thought about how aluminum was a known cause of short term memory loss, which was the symptom that I was noticing the most. I really wanted to be working, and was afraid I would waste my time if I logged back on the the Internet, but the Lord told me to do it anyways, I am so glad I did.

Cinnamon Roll Humor

Don't you just want to take a bite?

A picture is worth a thousand words...

To bad I can not send their smell through the computer. Maybe in the future computers will not only let us see and hear, but also smell. Of course it would only give you a synthetic scent, and most synthetic scents are toxic.

Some humor...

This is Mama on Muffins

This is Mama on her new fetish... Cinnamon Rolls!

All great fetishes need a theme song....

Still... My home baked 100% Whole Wheat Pumpkin Chocolate Chip muffins can't be beat. But I am not organised enough to start baking again yet. Cinnamon Rolls are available at the supermarket, which is where we are heading before I drop off my kids at their cousins, while I go and craft with Relief Society.

Pray, step, pray, step.

On Wednesday I needed to write every little thing good, and listen to music, inorder to have the faith to try. I call that phase pray, step, pray, step. Today I am feeling great and have allot to get done...

I told my husband about what happened when I ate that danish. He was amazed. My whole life I have had bad days when I could not get myself to do anything productive. Very much like the day I wrote about after the danish. I cant tell you how much they have made me feel like a failure. I cant tell you how many self help remedies I have tried. But greatest challenge I face in my life right now is the loss of faith and hope. This is because I have hit my head against the brick wall of those bad days for too long. I stopped believing I could fix them.... I still had not gotten back to the point where I believed I could fix them. Only to the point where I decided to have faith in the Lord, and that I would put in the effort to try to change them, only on the principal that I needed to have faith. In some ways my faith was one of... I will have faith it will strengthen me... But I do not believe it can be changed.... Knowing about aluminum... might be the main and biggest miracle I have praid for, or have not prayed for because I lost hope, in all of my married life.

My #1 goal since I got married was... Be mentally healthy, and have a clean home...

Good Days and Bad Days

Today seems to be a medium day. I am not sure if I ate something with aluminum in it. I am still not being ultra vigilant in my AAT, I read labels and avoid many foods, but there are still areas where I could be exposed to aluminum. My brain is feeling clogged, and I am stressing about things more. The more I stress the more my brain feels clogged. Thankfully my husband is home today. We will be filling up a dumpster, and sending in more mortgage documents.

It makes sense that exposure to aluminum can cause good days and bad days. I wonder if other factors also cause good days and bad days.

The last time I had to move from our temporary housing back to our home after the fire was huge challenge. Granted I did go through some miscarriages around the time of the move. But I remember a very dark month where I spent many hours alone crying and willing myself to live. I am a very prideful person, all my life I have been treated somewhat as an incompetent person. All my life except for in my new ward. So when I am having personal struggles the first thing I try to do is hide my incompetence. I look back, when I was so low and struggling so hard, and I still attempted to fulfill my primary and activity days callings, only hinting at my struggles if the topic could not be avoided. That was such a dark time when I had to actively fight the urge to be suicidal. I am out of that scary place thankfully. But I am still very stressed and emotionally volatile. I also feel lazier or more run down less hopeful. What I am trying to say is I do not believe I have as much strength to fight if I were to experience a nervous breakdown.


I do not feel I am lacking in opportunities for personal growth right now. It feels like I am moving, decluttering and remodeling all on my own. Because of how much my husband works. Many wonderful people have offered to help us. But I can not have them help. Part of it is my incompetence pride. I fear that if I rely on anyone I prove my incompetence. But there is more to it then that. My home is too messy. I can not clean my home because nothing has a place where it belongs. I can only pack up out of the mess. I just cant describe it, or explain it, but my brain understands it.

Decluttering really is on my shoulders. I can not expect anyone to come in my home and make the decision of keep or DI for me.

And it is bigger then the move. Even after the move. I want to start to find happiness. I am afraid if I add to my life another commitment that I can not fulfil I will jeopardise my happiness. I need space and room and time in a relaxed environment. That is where I thrive. I cant explain how stress shuts me down. And NOTHING stresses me more then what others will think of me, of failing at an obligation.

Todays Report

• 6:34 am Klove is on, I love it!! Now off to get garbage bags and boxes.
• 6:38 am I have garbage bags, boxes and tape. Yuck it is cold outside!!! My poor birds. I hope my new tekfoil insulation comes soon so I can repair their home. Mental note turn on their heater today.
• 6:40 Klove song - In the hands of God we stand tall.... got to love it!
• 6:48 boxes taped and labeled.
• 6:55 Klove song - Don't give up now, the sun will soon be shining. You've got to face the clouds to find the silver lining... I am working on misc things on the office floor.
• 7:04 One full bag of garbage going out of the room. K-Love Savior, He can move the mountains. For my God is might to save, he is mighty to save.
• 7:06 K love, Rid me of myself, I belong to you. Lead me...
• 7:13 I heard a buss outside and thought it was the dumpster, and remembered.. OH no, I forgot to move the van. It is now moved. Boy it is cold, I plugged in warming mat for my chickens... I hope that helps.
• 7:21 One clutter box empty.
• 7:27 Stats: 2 clutter boxes/bins empty, 1 DI box full, 0 Keep boxes full, 1 garbage bag full.... Holy holy holy, is the Lord god almighty (Klove)
• 7:40 I love all my kids art I cant ever throw any of it away. Stats: 4 clutter boxes/bins empty, 1 DI box full, 0 Keep boxes full, 1 garbage bag full.
• 7:45 Thank Goodness... I found my husbands drivers licence, he will be thrilled. He texted back "Awesome."
• 7:51 Beautiful song! Jeremy Camp - There Will Be A Day Lyrics,

I know the journey seems so long
You feel your walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

• 7:56 Even when all hope is gone, and I've been wounded in the battle, he is all the strength I will ever need, he will carry me. Stats: 5 clutter boxes/bins empty, 1 DI box full, 0 Keep boxes full, 1 garbage bag full, 1 paper box full.
• 8:05 To God alone be the glory. Stats: 6 clutter boxes/bins empty, 1 DI box full, 0 Keep boxes full, 1 garbage bag full, 1 paper box full.
• 8:21 I will rise, when he calls my name, no more sorrow no more pain... I checked in on my children, kissed them and tucked them in. Washed a batch of laundry, my DH is so patient with me. Stats: 6 clutter boxes/bins empty, 1 DI box full, 0 Keep boxes full, 1 garbage bag full, 1 paper box full, 1 batch of laundry washed.
• 8:31 Boyo woke up, I love that little guy.... Stats: 7 clutter boxes/bins empty, 1 DI box full, 0 Keep boxes full, 1 garbage bag full, 1 paper box full, 1 batch of laundry washed...
• 8:33 Stats: 8 clutter boxes/bins empty, 1 DI box full, 0 Keep boxes full, 1 garbage bag full, 1 paper box full, 1 batch of laundry washed.
• 8:36 Boyo is happy I found his trains while cleaning... Stats: 9 clutter boxes/bins empty, 1 DI box full, 0 Keep boxes full, 1 garbage bag full, 1 paper box full, 1 batch of laundry washed.
• 8:42 Stats: 10 clutter boxes/bins empty, 2 DI boxes full, 0 Keep boxes full, 1 garbage bag full, 1 paper box full, 1 batch of laundry washed.
• 9:06 Blessed be the name of the Lord. Blessed bee your glorious name. Every blessing you pour out I will turn back to praise. 12 clutter boxes/bins empty, 2 DI boxes full, 1 Keep boxes full, 1 garbage bag full, 1 paper box full, 1 batch of laundry washed.
• 10:01 Healing rain, is coming down, is coming down to this whole town... The girls have been awake for a while. I went to talk to them and check in with them. Now back to work.
• 11:13 Fed the kids Tooth Diet for breakfast (sausage and tater tots), washed another load. Stats: 12 clutter boxes/bins empty, 2 DI boxes full, 1 Keep boxes full, 2 garbage bag full, 1 paper box full, 2 batch of laundry washed.
• 11:53 Kids got their new hello Kitty alarm clock that they earned on Childzilla.com, we set it up for tomorrow morning. Stats: 12 clutter boxes/bins empty, 2 DI boxes full, 1 Keep boxes full, 2 garbage bag full, 1 paper box full, 3 batch of laundry washed.
• 12:17 I decluttered all the bins on the office floor. Now I am starting on the bottom of the bunk bed in left in the office. Stats: 16 clutter boxes/bins empty, 2 DI boxes full, 1 Keep boxes full, 2 garbage bag full, 1 paper box full, 3 batch of laundry washed.
• 12:33 Stats: 19 clutter boxes/bins empty, 2 DI boxes full, 1 Keep boxes full, 3 garbage bag full, 1 paper box full, 3 batch of laundry washed.
• 12:48 I found my boys Leapster, everyone is so excited. The dumpster has not shown up yet. I am afraid I mixed up the addresses and told them to take it to the new home this week instead... OOppss... Lets hope not. The kids and I are loading up to drive by and see if it is there. Also we are going to buy laundry soap, and batteries for the leapster. Stats: 19clutter boxes/bins empty, 2 DI boxes full, 1 Keep boxes full, 3 garbage bag full, 1 paper box full, 4 batch of laundry washed.
• 3:12 Checked on the dumpster, it will come tomorrow. Went to the store. Made lunch. Replied to emails. Washed another load of laundry. Now I am heading to homedepot for bins for the bird food and camping supplies. Stats: 19 clutter boxes/bins empty, 2 DI boxes full, 1 Keep boxes full, 3 garbage bag full, 1 paper box full, 5 batch of laundry washed.

Feeling Good

Today the city is leaving a dumpster at our home. We had hoped to have the home cleaned out and all the extra unwanted stuff, that was not good enough for the DI, ready to go into the dumpster. But alas that is not where we are at. I took today off of work because I feel and inspiration coming on, and I am ready to attack my home. These To-Do lists on here have proven to be helpful so I am going to try that again today. Well.. Actually my to do list is simple to get me started.

1. Move the van off of the driveway so the dumpster has room.
2. find garbage bags
3. Bring in a handful of boxes.
4. tape together two boxes, 1 for keeps, and 1 for DI.
5. Turn on Klove in the office.
6. Start sorting through boxes, quickly, send most stuff to the DI or dumpster.
7. Report in here my progress.

Sounds good, lets go!

My husbands idea of taking very little, so we can start over new, has really simplified the process...

My plan was open up ever bin, shelf, box, place where stuff is. Pick up each item and as yourself, do I love it enough to put it away, if yes then ask yourself where does it go, sort by room. The thought process is too complicated and emotional. Now instead I ask myself do I throw it away or send it to the DI, and if I find I rebel against getting rid of it I keep it. My goal is to give away or throw away over 50% of the stuff.. lets see how I do.

Thank Goodness for Husbands!

A little over a year ago I started working form home, and my husband took up a second job. We choose this dramatic change in our family lifestyle inorder to accelerate our family paying off of its debts. The plan was pay off debt first then buy a home. But God brought a home to us so we changed up the order of events. Now buying a home is financially daunting, but doable. The time it takes to buy and move and repair is more daunting. I find my self wishing my husband did not work a second job, allot. I have the ability to easily add on or take off extra hours at work, so I am asking him to consider switching who is working the extra hours. There really is no perfect answer. Working extra hours is hard on the family either way.

In many ways I have enjoyed the benefits of having a devoted and available husband. Many times in our early married life I told my husband that I needed to go and see a councilor. And he always said, that is a good idea, but first start by telling me what is wrong. I love that man. Goodness the hours and hours of time he has spent "counseling" me. Every relationship has its strength, and ours is talking. We love to talk with eachother for hours.

In the LDS church we have eternal marriage. This eternal marriage brings a different prospective to the family relationship. My husband and I are sealed to each other for eternity, and our children are sealed to us as children. Our children will each grow up and eventually be sealed to their spouses. Because of this eternal bond we feel the husband wife relationship takes precedence over the parent child relationship. Or as my husband puts it, if Mama is not happy, ain't no buddy happy. We find that if we pull in, and solve problems, first as a couple, then we are stronger and more unified when we then turn to the kids and solve the problems with the kids.

You know how kids always respond to stress. Unfortunately there have been many a day when we have hugged the kids told them we love them, found them entertainment and then locked ourselves in our room as a couple to work things out. Many of these times the kids have been stressed, if they show higher signs of stress we will repeat, hug, love, food, entertainment, back to couple time. It is a bit hard on the kids at first in stressful times. But within a matter of time we emerge from our bedroom unified, happy and hopeful, ready to share that energy with the kids. This difficult time always ends in quality kid time, to share with them what we worked out as a couple first. At these stressful times we remind ourselves, we are the ones sealed to each other eternally, our relationship has to take priority.

Well, that was a tangent.... Needless to say my husband has spent allot of quality time talking with me, and helping me sort myself out... His working two jobs has cut into this, so instead I have taken up writing. I find that when I write I can almost sort it out as well as when I talk to my husband.

Only Half of the Story

It seems I am much more likely to post on my blog on my bad days. Those are the days I am all a fuddle and need to sort my brain out. The good days I am away from my computer more getting things done.

Hubby

My husband is coming home to rescue me. He wants to clean one room. He wants to do what he calls "Noah's Ark Packing" take the few listed needed items, and start new, get ride of the rest. I am just glad to have him home, and I hope the packing will work his way.